amethystbreeze

Come Christmas I'm gonna be so tired. But I'll look at my paycheck and be happy. My shifts for today and Thursday have turned into full eight hour shifts and knowing that it's three days till Christmas, it's gonna be hella busy. There was so many people on the road yesterday on my way to work. They were probably all going to Best Buy. I don't remember that many cars last year when Linens' N Things was still there. Haw. At least this job seems the be doing well so I don't have to worry about being laid off until I'm at the Humane Society. :3
Honestly, it feels weird being an adult and planning my adult life ahead. Eh. And this is the most stressful time so far in my life. Well, once my life is settled, I can take a breather.

I like songs that make me feel sexy. <3

Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous.

I'm having urges to write but I'm blocked. I don't know what to write about. Should I continue something I've started or do something new? I'm probably not going to write tons so I can't add on to the many stories I've started. Maybe I should just let my fingers hit the keys and just let whatever come out and no I don't mean like this; kjflgm;elg,be,s. Well if I write and I'm generally happy with whatever pours out of my brain, I'll post it here.

Sora has been gone for three years and I still miss him tons. But yesterday I have gotten word on a sighting that may be him. I was talking to this customer at work yesterday and we started talking about cats (I'm probably gonna be one of those weird cat ladies when I'm old.) and found out she lives a street over from me and that one of the neighborhood cats that visits her yard may be him. I told her his physical description and that he's an un-neutered male and she said that sounds like him but she's unsure of his eye color. His eye color was blue like the sky and he was two when he disappeared. The eye color of kittens change to their permanent color at 12 weeks so blue is for sure his eye color. Now it might not be him because she didn't remember his eye color and his eyes are something you cannot forget.

Now if it is him, there are a few things I must take to mind. He might be owned by someone else now, he might not be easy to catch and if he does not belong to someone, it's possible he's been running stray for three years so he may be feral now and weary of people. He may or may not remember me but either way, he may not come quietly. And if I do come into possession of him again I need to consider everyone elses feelings. Sabrina might HATE me if I bring him back since she's now queen of this house and if they hated each other before then they certainly won't like each other any better now. And if he's feral, he's going to need to adjust to having people around and he's going to need to be fixed. As much as getting fixed sucks, it will help with some behavioral issues, like peeing on everything. But if I cannot get Sora and Sabrina to tolerate each other, then I need to consider putting him up for adoption. I know he'll find a good home through the Humane Society. If someone I know will take him and care for him like a king then I'll be happy with that too.

But as happy as I was to hear that he might be still around, I'm still keeping in mind it could be a different cat that was seen (possibly one of his offspring?). I'm still keeping my eye out and my heart open for him.

So Zack's bathroom needs to be redone. The guys who are ripping it apart right now son mexicanos. Haha. Abuelita se piensa que van a robar algo. Pssh. And she's Mexican herself. *shrug*

On a different note, I'm going to head to the mall either today or tomorrow. I just need to get like two more things and I'm officially done Christmas shopping. I've already started wrapping presents. We should be getting a tree either tomorrow night or Friday morning. Maybe our tree will be freshly rained on since more precipitation is expected throughout this weekend *nerdy meteorology talk*. But yah. Then I can pull out all these gifts and throw them under the tree so Zack and Matt can drool over them and try to peak.

Watching music videos this morning on VH1 like I do every morning. Saw a few that I haven't seen yet like Adam Lambert's "For Your Entertainment" (In the video he's being felt up by men and women. Hah. It just makes me more confused. I thought he was just gay. Maybe he likes to be contradictory. Either way, he's still hot...) and I saw a music video for Kings Of Leon and their song "Sex On Fire". The song is not stuck in my head but the phrase sex on fire keeps repeating in my mind. >>; I know I seem like a giant perv sometimes but I really can't help it right now that I keep hearing that in my head. Arg.

New subject. TABLET. Don't have one, seriously hoping to find it under the tree with my name on it. I would draw all the freakin time on the laptop and my deviantART gallery would be a gajillion pages long. :3 I want to draw something inspired by Gaga's "Bad Romance". I'm thinking... something sexy but odd. :P

I love being sneaky and I can be really good at it. XD Well I had this idear. Well I told Ryan about these two different pairs of Chucks we sell at work (he loves Chucks) and asked which he would like better if he had to chose. I bought the pair he said yesterday after I got off and he's convinced since I asked him that question that he's getting those for Christmas. Obviously he's right. So I want to trick him. I'll take two empty shampoo bottles and fill them with water and stick them in the box and wrap them up with all that annoying paper that comes in shoe boxes. I'll also put a small gift in the box that's not shoes so he'll be like "What the fu- ... awww." :3 Then I'll hand him another wrapped present that's obviously not a shoe box but the shoes will be inside. Hah. Matthew has this box laying around that one of his toys came in and that might work out perfectly. My only thing though is I hope Ryan doesn't shake the trick shoe box before he opens it cause then he might hear the water sloshing in the bottles. I'm hoping this works. He might catch on though cause he knows me very well. :P

Rain in the forecast for today but only a slight chance. Tonight is when the showers should arrive and it's gonna be rainy and windy tomorrow so that's something to look forward too. :D

Holy crap it's December already. Every passing year seems to pass quicker and quicker. In the blink of an eye it'll be December 2010. Wowow. I've been shopping generously for my loved ones and I'm almost done. My Christmas money is going towards a new and much needed mattress. I've had this one for too long. I looked at some with Ryan the other day. The shark* assumed we were shopping for a bed for Ryan and me. HAH. It's mine for now. He looked up some clearance mattresses that were floor models of the one I liked and the lowest priced one was basically half the original price. Hellz yeah. I just want to take a look at it first, feel it, check it out, see if there is any flaws that may be the reason the price is so low. I can't wait to sleep on it. They offer free delivery and they will remove my old mattress for free. :D I believe I've got a sweet deal. Hopefully it'll still be there when I go back for it. Ying!

I drove in the rain for the first time last Saturday. I bought a present for mom and decided to buy a white rose for Ryan and surprise him at work. I know he was only gone a week, but it was a very stressful week for him and to top it off, he had to go home throw on his work clothes and go to work for a full shift. He was surprised and delighted by my unexpected visit. I was happy to have made him happy. :)

Christmas stories... they can be found in books and movies and such. Now I like myself a good Christmas movie. I want to see Prep & Landing on ABC when it airs. But all these stories and plot lines with the Christmas season are starting to seem a little repetitive to me. Why? A ton of these Christmas plots have to do with saving Christmas. Santa will quit or become rendered unable to do his yearly flight and deliver presents to all the good people of earth. So someone, whether it's a child, a grown person, an animal/creature (usually a talking one) or any combination of the three will go out of their way so help Santa so he can get back in his sleigh and continue his flight or they do it themselves for him. Now helping Santa is a nice gesture. But this whole "Christmas can't happen cause Santa can't/won't deliver presents" is just showing materialism. Christmas isn't just about getting stuff. It's a family holiday to share your love and kindness to those you consider your family.
Now it's not to say that I dislike all those movies about saving Christmas. I do like some of them a lot. Elf is one of my favorite Christmas movies and one part in the movie involves helping Santa and saving Christmas.
I do understand it's hard to be creative it seems like everything has been done. But it can't hurt to try to come up with something else.

That's just my two cents on the subject. :P

So Ryan may move away. He told me the same thing last year about his Dad applying for a transfer and well he's doing it again, but now I have so much more than just a friend to lose. And I can't just be like "Oh you're moving? Kay when that happens, we done. Kbye". That would make me feel extremely shallow and I just don't want to break up with him. He doesn't want to break up either. Now it's a possibility that he won't be going anywhere. But if he does, I have no idea when. If he goes, he'll move to New York. I'm not sure if he said they'll live in Brooklyn or if his dad will work there. I don't think they'll live there because Ryan was talking about his dad getting a house. It just seems like it's just not the right thing for him (this is not because I don't want him to leave.) He's 21 and should have his say and he doesn't. And he paid so much to go to ITT Tech and I'm not sure if he'll live near an ITT Tech in New York. And ITT Tech credits are not transferable to any other school. So all that time and money will have gone to waste. It's just not fair. He said it is possible that if they have a big enough house or even a house with a guest house (which his father mentioned getting), I may be able to go with. But I may have to take another Humane Law Enforcement class because of course some New York laws will be different than California and I'm not sure what else they will require of me to have done or know before I can get the job. And well I'm pretty damn sure I will not be allowed to go with. Mom may just let me go though but grandma and grandpa will be like "NO WAY". Well everyone knows that I'm generally upset over this situation. I'm torn and hurt and confused and I don't know what to do. I guess for now, all I can do is pray and hope that he won't be leaving. And I really do hope with all my heart that he will stay here, at least long enough that if his Dad transfers, Ryan can afford an apartment with me.

I plan on getting a new laptop with Windows 7 and has a built in webcam and microphone and in case he does leave, I can still see him every day, but just via camera.

It feels weird that you feel a cry coming on and a sneeze coming on at the same time.

Uhn. I can't believe the holidays are almost here. I'm switching shifts on Black Friday so now I have a full shift and I'm scared to be doing returns. DX Wah.

In my personal language, "Twitter" is now "Twatter". Kthanks.

Long week ahead.

As long as you're mine...

Being sick is gross. My cold is now all in my throat and possibly lungs. I wake up feeling like crap like the past few days but if today is like yesterday, I'll start to feel better as the day progresses. But it seems I won't get my goodbye kiss tonight. Florida is so far away and a week can be so long. Well I'm working night shifts all this week except on Black Friday and on my days off. So the days will be long but the nights will be short. Tuesday I'm seeing a movie with friends. We're probably gonna go see A Christmas Carol. Yay hangin out with friends! :P

I hate calling out. I do. If Jina saw how bad I felt towards the end of my shift on Tuesday, she would have sent me home. I'm a lot better and I had all intentions to go to work today but if I came in with my nose red and barley able to utter a word Jina would tell me to turn around and go back home. Crap. DX Well my pay is gonna be lousy for this week. --; Luckily I had the day off yesterday.

Ryan leaves for Flordia on Monday but today is the last time I will see him for a little over a week. ): Well I have a surprise for him That I will hide in his laptop case. :3

I saw the Bad Romance video on tv this morning. And knowing that in some of Gaga's vids, there were some scenes that were cut out for television airing. When I saw the Bad Romance video for the first time, I thought for sure they would cut out the parts were she's standing nude (but in a way that you can't see much). You get some good side boob views and I think for a moment you can see her booty so I thought "Oh. They would never air that on tv." I was wrong. XD" Well I guess some of her fans were happy about that. Haha. Well whatever. Bad Romance is currently my favorite song by Lady Gaga with Love Game coming in second. Ying.

Gonna get dressed and watch some Will & Grace. Lators.

I forgot. Crap. I forgot one thing I wanted to say but I remembered another (Hah.)

My costume this year turned out so much better than last years attempt. :D Yay! I actually liked wearing my normal clothes but in an outrageous fashion. So I may just do that every year. I'm already thinking of next years. Hmm. I may decide to be daring and wear a mini skirt but not ass hanging out mini. :P I'm beginning to feel confident enough (but I still wouldn't wear them for my everyday clothing). I have lost some weight yes. It's gradual but it's working an I'm happy. So of course this time next year I may be at my goal weight. I'm happy with how this is going. Not having a job and being home all the time is why I gained some weight earlier this year. Glad that all went away. Ryan wants to lose weight too but he's going about it all wrong by not eating much. Har. I want to try to get him to use the gym at the apartments he lives at and maybe I'll come too. He didn't really like the idea last time I tried to talk to him about it. I guess all nerds are anti-exercise. X3 But I shouldn't be one to talk. I don't really enjoy it that much either, especially running. The only running I do on a daily basis is whenever I'm going upstairs, I run upstairs. Hah. Or at work, if no one is in the department for price check, I jog over there to find whatever it is I need.
Eh. I don't know. The next thing that needs to vacate my body is my zits.


I want your psycho
Your vertigo stick
Want you in my rear window
Baby you're sick
I want your love

So the classes I need to take next semester to become a humane officer are firearms and I believe laws of arrest. Now Bruce said it would be called firearm safety. Well it's just firearms and the class is on a range. :o I get to play with real guns. That's actually kind of scary. Haha. But it's part of the job so I gotta do it. :3

Matt's birthday is tomorrow. Happy 8th birthday Matty. :D

Friday, December 4th, Trans-Siberian Ochestra, San Diego Sports Arena. Damn I wish I could of known sooner. Tickets aren't sold out but with work and making plans like that, well I should have known a month ago. Besides, work is going to be strict on December day off requests because of the holidays. I've been itching to go to a concert but anything good that comes to town... well I always find out too late. Fack. Hopefully there will be something good in town next year. That's my 2010 wish. :D

I had a dream that I was knocked up and ready to pop it out on a kitchen counter. Hah. Then in turned out to be a false alarm and by false alarm I'm not sure it meant, I wasn't in labor or if it meant that I was prego, but just fat and crazy. XD

So I watched the new Lady Gaga video for Bad Romance. Love the song, and the video is so weird and I love it too. What I like about Lady Gaga is that she's not afraid to be crazy and I also love her outrageous sense of fashion. I wouldn't call it avante garde because it's so out there. And well of course I like her music. All of her singles get stuck in my head and I tend to like most of them. :D I have seen those pictures of her taken by paparazzi where she's not in makeup and she's not looking her best. Make up and digital retouches definitely can fool you, but I still thought she was pretty. :3

Ohohoh! I found the coolest hoodie site where they make custom hoodies and hats (they aren't cheap) and they are so awesome. :D They even make Lumna plushies! I must have one! :DDDD



Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance

I want your ugly
I want your disease
I want your everything
As long as it’s free
I want your love
(Love-love-love I want your love)

I want your drama
The touch of your hand
I want your leather-studded kiss in the sand
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love
(Love-love-love I want your love)

You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want it bad, your bad romance

I want your love and
I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
(Oh-oh-oh--oh-oooh!)
I want your love and
All your lovers' revenge
You and me could write a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance

I want your horror
I want your design
‘Cause you’re a criminal
As long as your mine
I want your love
(Love-love-love I want your love-uuhh)

I want your psycho
Your vertigo stick
Want you in my rear window
Baby you're sick
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love
(Love-love-love I want your love)

You know that I want you
('Cause I'm a freak bitch baby!)
And you know that I need you
I want a bad, bad romance

I want your love and
I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!)
I want your love and
All your lovers' revenge
You and me could write a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance

Walk, walk fashion baby
Work it
Move that bitch crazy

Walk, walk fashion baby
Work it
Move that bitch crazy

Walk, walk fashion baby
Work it
Move that bitch crazy

Walk, walk fashion baby
Work it
I'm a freak bitch, baby

I want your love and
I want your revenge
I want your love
I don’t wanna be friends

Je veux ton amour
Et je veux ton revenge
J'veux ton amour
I don’t wanna be friends
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
I don’t wanna be friends
(Caught in a bad romance)
I don’t wanna be friends
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Want your bad romance
(Caught in a bad romance)
Want your bad romance!

I want your love and
I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
I want your love and
All your lovers' revenge
You and me could write a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Want your bad romance
(Caught in a bad romance)
Want your bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Want your bad romance
(Caught in a bad romance)

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance
Bad Romance by Lady Gaga

So Angel is okay. Seems my attempts to keep her and her sisters warm, helped.

So, I've worked full-time shifts (about eight hours) before, mostly when I was at Linens' N Things during the liquidation. At Marshall's, I've only done that like two or three times. Those days were pretty much nothing though. It felt like time flew. Yesterday though, it was the longest day ever with an extra half hour (worked a total of eight and half hours). We had an important visit, we were busy and I was dealing with people at the register all day, and the last part of my shift I was doing customer service (mostly returns). And I felt so tired when I got home. Holy craps. And I'm still tired but I'm sucking it up cause I'm working again today but my regular four and half hour shifts. Eh.

I had a dream last night that Zack and I had to sleep outside in the garage and not ever go in the house, which was Grandma's house in the dream but this was mom's rule. And she was carrying a small dog or something. Well Zack and I were displeased and he went next door to play with friends and I literally ran away. I ended up at the top of this large hill (or a mountain that was not very step) and they were surrounded by more hills and mountains that were covered in waving green grass and no rocks or trees. It was like a hilly meadow. It was gorgeous. I then just ran down the hill with paper in my hands, jumped up with my arms spread and I didn't fly but I was floating down this dirt road on the hillside. I felt like I was in a Hayao Miyazaki movie. Then the dirt road ended in a sort of culdasac (spelling...) and there was three houses but they were the size of trailers, possibly smaller. (It's really hard for me to put in words what these houses looked like). Then I noticed these two very nice cars that don't look like your average car. One had a sort of old-time car sort of look and feel and the other had this modern sports car look and feel but they had no hoods. Their body I can't describe. My dreams are so complex. But anyway, I then decided to be a race car driver and drive they old style car. I didn't take the car though. I was now concerned about where I was going to live. So I turned around and observed the houses. One mean person (I think it was a lady) gave me and nasty look and went inside. Her house was the first of the three. I then walked up to the third house and knocked on the door. This tall girl, probably in her early to mid twenties answered. She had long dark blue hair (told you it was like a Hayao Miyazaki dream) that was tied up in two long ponytails and these aqua blue eyes. As I introduced myself she had this look on her face that had me thinking she wasn't going to let me stay here. But then she smiled and told me I could stay here. I then learned the cars were hers and she was willing to let me have whichever I want (I'm sure a guy would love this dream. Staying with some random hot chick and getting a very nice car for free and becoming a race car driver. Hah.). So I got into my chosen car with her and drove away wearing helmets (the cars in this dream required that you wore helmets). Then the dream gets weird enough that I can't explain. Something about sneaking past this sleeping six year old kid, then I don't know then at this party? I was now in a band with three other guys at this party and we jumped on these outdoor umbrella tables and started singing but not our own original songs. One of the songs were did was "Hella Good" by No Doubt. We sang and jumped around from table to table, then I ripped off my clothes to reveal my bathing suit (second time this weak I dreamt that I did that but the first one I wasn't wearing a bathing suit). then we started singing and jumping in pools. I dove into one, my top came off so I fixed it underwater before anyone could notice. And then this other kid who was a bully threw green powder on me. And I think that was about it. So odd.

There is something I want to say about the whole, going away from home and exploring thing, but I'll post something about that later.

I woke up this morning freezing. Mom came in and said "Wow, your room is cold". >>; I did find that my window wasn't completely closed and with a slight crack, all this cold air poured into my room. I'm fine, but since the mice are now in my room, I was concerned about them and I was right to be concerned. Zero is fine, eating a ton of food (probably to make up for the energy lost from running in circles all night) and Cinnamon is fine with all that fat. But Angel is weak and shivering. I held her up to my stomach and covered her softly with my hands while trying to quickly think of something (I gotta go to work in a few!) So I covered their sleeping hut with a piece of old cloth and have a smaller piece I'm going to put in with them but it's currently being warmed in the butt pocket of my pants. I'll also see if I can use these old torn up pjs I found to cover the cage when I go.

Hope she'll be okay.

And like a strike of lightning, it's already almost Halloween. So far I'm not really doing anything other than handing out candy and scaring people away. XD I'm gonna costumize myself early and go into work later for my pay then head over to the bank. I'd love to see all the silly looks I'd get. X3 Bwahaha!

Soooo I've been working on something in photoshop for like 2 weeks now, with my current schedule. Haha. And I'm like 85% done and am extremely proud. It's actually a gift for Ryan's upcoming birthday so I hope he'll like it. I'll be posting it on deviant art probably the day after so other eyes may view. :D





I see the best of me inside your eyes